Today is a special day! Today is blog share day! The post below has not been written by me, instead it’s written by anonymous. I have written a post that is also posted anonymously on another blog that is participating. The list of participating blogs can be found here. Enjoy!
Despite being a very friendly person and a generally good friend, I’ve had bad “friend luck” for the past few years. I moved to my current city over four years ago, and I’ve never really found my niche. Actually, that’s not entirely true; I’ve found my niche several times, just in time for my friends to move away. I’ve historically been the “friend who moved away,” so I don’t feel like I have much room to complain. Despite this admission, I am complaining. I’m loudly bellowing my complaint, because finally – after multiple years of flakey “friends” who don’t ever put any kind of care into our alleged friendship – I have a terrific, wonderful, awesome gal pal. And she recently told me in secret that she’s moving in a few months.
Don’t get me wrong, I fully support her decision to move. This move is going to increase her quality of life tenfold, and I’m more than thrilled for her. She’ll only be a short (and cheap) plane ride away, which is a vast improvement over most of my long-distance friendships. But I’m still sad, and I’ll miss her.
I don’t understand why I find it so difficult to make true, deep, good friends as I get older. I worry sometimes that I’ll wind up a loner, relying solely upon my spouse for friendship and socialization. While I know that this fear is unrealistic – I’m too gregarious for that – saying goodbye to my friend leaves me wondering how long it will be before I find another real friend. What if it never happens?
I know that I’m inordinately lucky in friendship. I have many wonderful, beautiful, close friends, despite the fact that they don’t live nearby. I know I should appreciate my blessings, count my chickens, whatever cliche you want. Selfishly, perhaps childishly, though… I am just going to miss my friend.
7 Comments
November 5, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I think a lot of people have the same problem. I have no idea what the solution is to make friends as an adult though.
November 5, 2009 at 4:21 pm
It’s hard to make friends as an adult. I’ve moved around a lot too, so I understand. I’m sorry your friend is moving away.
November 5, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I feel your pain. It’s only been recently that I’ve consciously attempted to cultivate friendships for their own sake. It’s worth it, and I don’t think it’s inappropriate for you to feel sad at your friend’s imminent move.
November 5, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Oh, yes, that’s my story too! I love the city where I live, I love my husband, and I love the life we’ve built here. But every time I make a friend, she leaves!! Thank goodness for email and cell phones with free long distance plans. Just because your friend doesn’t live really close to you anymore doesn’t mean you lose them forever. Good luck!
November 5, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Hey! I’ve had that problem, too. I’ve had a lot more difficulty making friends as an adult than I did when I was younger.
November 6, 2009 at 4:55 pm
i get you. it is super hard to make friends in adulthood. i get sad about it as well.
November 7, 2009 at 3:33 pm
It is always hard when friends move away. And when they tell you they are moving, there is an awkward period in which you imagine (maybe correctly, maybe not) that they are pulling away and you aren’t spending as much time together as you used to. Keep hanging out until she leaves, then make plans to chat reguarly (IM at work if you’re allowed is great!), and if you can swing it, plan a trip to where she is moving sometime fairly soon after she leaves. Or the two of you plan a trip somewhere else fun.