I’ve been pregnant 5 times. I’ve lost 3 babies. I’m so confused by this. I have felt strongly about this baby since Gavin was born. Everything I prayed for I was given for that baby to even try to be conceived. So then we tried. And He only let it happen to take it away. I don’t usually question His path, His decisions, but these last few days as I’m overcome with severe cramping, I find myself doing that. I know I’m not perfect but I love my kids. I love them more than I can stand it and I know I could’ve loved one more. I could love another year of sleepless nights and tripping over baby gates and another child pouncing into our bed in the morning. I could’ve. And it makes me sad that here’s a reason He didn’t think I could. Maybe that isn’t THE reason, but there is a reason. And then it makes me angry for all the mommy’s who feel like I do and how some of those mommy’s don’t even have what I have. So I’ll stop being selfish and I’ll be grateful. I’ll count my blessings every day. I’ll put all that extra love into what I have.
Posted by Stacey on January 6, 2014