School is going well, both classes are not easy as I suspected (it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out!) but I’m doing okay. I have my first two tests this week. Why do profs do that? So I guess I’ll see how I’m really doing after these tests.

I’m on the hunt for an internship. Remember this post where I was annoying myself? Well, it turns out I did decide to use that prof as a resource and I’m really glad I did because it might going somewhere really awesome. Awesomeville might be gaining a new resident! And I couldn’t be more excited or scared shitless. I don’t want to talk about it for fear of jinxing it but I’m not an idiot and I realize this IS talking about it and so I probably just jinxed it.

Gavin is in teething hell STILL. And my little heart breaks for his ABS (angry baby syndrome) because his gums just LOOK painful and while I was actually keeping an eye on his left front tooth and eye tooth because they are RIGHT THERE, it turns out he had another bottom tooth grow right in and I didn’t even notice. That brings his teeth total to 4 with 2 stubborn one’s right there under his gums just torturing me him.

I need a date night with my man, but I’m not so sure when that can happen.

I’ve had a lot of tedious stuff taking up my days. Like that kind of stuff that requires making phone calls, being on hold, filling out paperwork, printing stuff out, making copies, and mailing it in (I’m shocked at how so many business people think regular family people have fax machines! When I worked I just faxed from work but these people are actually SHOCKED I don’t have one in my home. Weird). I’m still in the process of selling my old house (SO ANNOYING) while we are in the process of refinancing this one (super exciting, hello seriously reduced interest rate!!). Rob’s car was hit when it was parked so we are trying to get that fixed through insurance and estimates and blah blah blah.

Rob is taking Luke to Learn to Skate on Saturday mornings. It’s pretty exciting. I haven’t been because I have school but he LOVES it. Well, the first week he did not love it. Parent’s are not allowed on the ice for the first 25 minutes and Luke spent that entire time clutching the coaches leg. Since then he’s come a long way. He can stand up on his own after he falls and he’s walking/skating on the ice all by himself!

I have 4 baskets of laundry to put away today.

That pretty much sums it up.

Come on, February!

Here’s what Baby Centers says is happening:

After you give birth, your estrogen levels take a tumble and a lot more hair follicles enter the resting stage. Soon you’ll have more hair coming out in the shower or on the brush. This unusual shedding will taper off and your hair will be back to its pre-pregnancy thickness about six to 12 months after you give birth.

That pre-pregnancy thickness in 6-12 months is a lie because here’s where I’m at:

(These are from the goof booth pics on my birthday where I noticed how my hair looks and it makes me want to cry, I mean it made me want to cry before these pictures but this shows why)

This is also a taste of how I might look if I was pointing out how there is mud on the floor and I don’t like it. But I’m not doing that here. I don’t think.

And my favorite is underneath where there is clearly a WHOLE LAYER OF HAIR growing in.

(That’s Rob mid-cough, he’ll be happy I posted this)

I’m happy it’s growing back in so I’m trying not to be too shallow because some people have real hair loss for real reasons but I hate my head right now. I hate doing my hair, I hate it up, I hate it down, ugh. I’ve thought about cutting it into more of a shorter style and then let it grow out again but eh, that might make me cry more.

Gavin is 9 months old so I’m looking at summer before it’s even close. The upside is Econ 2 and Statistics will be over so there’s a lot to look forward to for summer.

(The other side effect for me was constipation.  I bet you’re glad I wrote about this and not THAT! You’re welcome.)

I decided to celebrate with a dinner party with my Michelle & my Jennifer with their husbands. I even made seating tags.

We had several bottles of wine!

We started with this for an appetizer.

They were delish! I also served some fresh French bread straight from Costco. And a salad.

The main course was this chicken.

I didn’t make it with the pasta though, I made it with rice instead. It wasn’t bad at all.

In the end, it was the most perfect night. It felt just right.

One of the best parts was the surprise dessert.

It was something I had pinned recently. Cookie dough, a layer of oreos, and finally a layer of brownie batter. Oy. And ice cream on top with chocolate sauce. Double oy!

The night didn’t end there. We all resided to the Bistro to take some funny pictures in front of my new backdrop which we’ve renamed the Goof Booth. Hilarious times.

As you can tell, we had more goof than booth but that didn’t stop us.

Or me.

You know how it is. Thirty five and all.

So today I was running around to get to class and finally plopped down in my seat at 8:45 when class starts at 9:00. I like to have a few minutes to myself because you know….IT’S RARE. I’m pretty sure in the 13 minute car ride from our house to grandma’s, Luke asked me 743 questions.

I sit down and just as I pick up my phone to read tweets (read: this is relaxing for me) I hear a girl ask me if she can sit by me.  I say yes because I don’t care. She talks to me a little and I answer her, I am nice…

But then she won’t stop talking. And then Miss Talkathon called me old.

She said, “I am really great a math. I love it. I didn’t even need to show up for the last test when I took algebra because it was all review for me and I am so good at math. A lot of the people in there were failing and did not understand because you know? They were OLD and it had been YEARS since they took it.”

Did she call me stupid too?

So okay, I’m not like 68 and taking classes but I was just surprised she said that to me(but maybe not since obvs I look 21).

You can probably guess I didn’t get to ready any tweets.

So the prof starts teaching. I’m actually clearly understanding statistics. I’m not hating it yet. I get the formulas and if I just follow what he does, I’m getting the examples just fine and getting them right!

So then Miss Talkathon asks me if we can share my book because she’s going to give her book to the boy behind us because he’s embarrassed to share since he doesn’t have his book yet.

Ah, I guess so. Until I realize it means she’s in CHARGE of the book that I PAID $250.00 for. I’m sorry Mr. Embarrassed behind us is too shy to share but now I have to lean WAY over since the problem I’m trying to do is on your side of the desk.

I finish one of the examples we are working on and she reads my solution and is all, “Crap, I did that one wrong.”

Did I go on and on about how SMART I AM? No, I did not. The word jinx doesn’t just exist for high score on Words With Friends, people.

Anyway. We move on to a more in-depth problem. I didn’t read the question right and I jumped the gun and was doing more than I should be doing…just as I realize this and start to erase Miss Talkathon who is HOVERING OVER MY WORK is all, “You don’t need to do ALL THAT.”

“I know I jumped the gun a bit, I got it now, thank you.” And I let that slide. I got that problem done and moved on to the REAL more in-depth problem. I was doing the correct process, I was doing the correct formula but my answer wasn’t coming out right so I was just reviewing my numbers to make sure I had written them all down correctly, and what do you know? I didn’t.

As I’m erasing a little to make room for my mistake and so I can read it later when I review it at home….guess who is hovering and starts talking again? I BET YOU GUESSED RIGHT.

Miss Talkathon leans over and points to my formula sheet and says, “It’s THAT formula, THAT ONE RIGHT HERE.”

I breath deeply before I bitch slap her and I say, “I got it, I was missing a number, I got it now.”

We were kinda free at this point to finish these problems or leave and I didn’t want to leave without finishing this problem (read: OCD, not really but I at least wanted to finish it and it wasn’t even time for class to be done yet.) And she had finished it because she is SO SMART but clearly she was worried about me so as I’m rewriting it with the number I had excluded earlier she is HOVERING over me while I’m trying to calculate it on the calculator and I got the wrong answer AGAIN and I know it’s because she’s all up in my business, I did have everything right this time (and I clarified that when I got home) but she’s all, “Did you get it now?”

OMFG.

I finally said, “I GOT IT.” So she leaves and I’m pissed. I’m pissed because the other class is starting to come in and if she would’ve just LEFT ME ALONE I would’ve completed it before leaving but NOOOOO.

The professor is erasing the board as I stand up to leave and he says, “You got it Stace?” And I said, “Mmmhmmm.” Really. I do get it. I did the problems again when I got home and I got it! There’s nothing wrong with his teaching, he’s great!

What I’m wondering is…statistically, what is the probability of me pushing Miss Talkathon down a flight of stairs in the off-chance that she’s walking in front of me down a flight of stairs?

He had his nine month wellness check today. He’s 30 inches and 21 elbees.

Less iPhone love, even though I really really love it.

Less worry.

More books to read.

More pictures to take.

More runs to go on.

More walks to take with my boys.

More classes to take.

More movies to go to.

More date nights.

2012. The year of more. And a little less.

How about you?

I took a Saturday morning class in the winter of ’10 and I loved it. I thought it would get annoying but actually it wasn’t annoying at all. And let’s be realistic, I don’t really do anything on the weekends.

I decided to switch my class so that I could be with him. And then I looked him up on that website and whoa. He does not have many fans. Yes, his class was very hard. But as long as you took detailed notes and studied those notes (read: rewrite them a bajillion times before the test) you will do fine (which is basically what most of the comments said). And that’s what I did. I ended up with an A in that class and I nearly shit my pants. I figured I was getting a B. I don’t know if you remember but he was the prof that gave us 10 points for a 10 page paper and then gave us extra credit if we wrote an ADDITIONAL 10 page paper. Um, I did both. But that seems like A LOT of work for 10 points. I liked it too because there wasn’t any homework besides the papers and then just studying the detailed notes for tests. One of the comments did say that if you took him for econ 1 you should take him for econ 2, and you will breeze right through it. That would make sense, and it’s sort of what I’m hoping for. Also? He’s very involved in the community and we sort of “connected” (maybe a strong word for a prof, but you get my drift) in econ 1 so I wouldn’t mind getting to know him better as a resource. Rude?

I AM TOTALLY OFF TRACK. I’m getting nervous ABOUT the studying. This is not unusual, I feel this way often right before school starts but now it’s a little magnified because I have TWO children and a neighbor boy who likes to come over EVERY SINGLE DAY right after I lay Gavin down (shakes fist!). First off, Rob is awesome. So I know on the weeks I have tests I’ll be all, “Rob, I need to study 2 hours a day every day this week.” And he’s all, “Cool.” Really. He’s great about it. But I often try to get that done during the day but with the neighbor kid here, urgh. (I’m not at all bitter about naps interruptions, can you tell?)

The situation is that neighbor boy’s dad works nights (very hard protecting and serving, if you get my drift) so it usually goes that NB comes over during the day while daddy is sleeping and Luke goes there after daddy wakes up unless of course either of us have stuff going on so it’s not always EVERY DAY but it has been for the last week or so, so it FEELS like EVERY DAY now.

I guess, if I need to study, I just need to send NB home and not fret about this at all because I’m dumb and all worrying about hurting NB’s feelings or Luke getting all mad when I send NB home but WHATEVER. I am the mommy! I’m the boss!

One last thing I would like to add to this annoying blog post is that one of the comments about my econ prof was something like how this person had transferred to the University of Michigan after having this specific professor and how of all the professors and classes he’s had this prof was BY FAR the most difficult. Really?

I can do this. I will find time to study.

I am ridiculous.

I want to write about Gavin. I want to write about how the baby he is makes me want to have another one. I want to remember how he got his two bottom teeth at the end of November and how he got his one front tooth right before Christmas. I want you to know how he babbles so freaking loud and even puts one hand up as if he’s declaring something really important while he holds on for dear life with his other hand to the TV table so he doesn’t fall over. He usually falls over. He is walking along furniture. He’s moving from the couch to his bouncy with determination.

“But it’s you and there’s no other, I do believe”

He crawled at 5 months old. He still won’t say mama, and he barely says dada. He reminds me of Luke when he looks down. I see the same giant eyelashes that remind me of broom bristles that rest on big rounded cheeks. But when he looks up, it’s different. It’s green eyes with flecks of brown instead of blue. It’s a face that lights up for different reasons.

“If I could name you in this song. Would it make you smile and sing along?”

He wants up, he wants down. He sleeps wonderfully but only on his tummy. He would never fall asleep in the middle of something. He wants his crib when he wants it. And when he wants, oh you will know it. He hasn’t fallen asleep in my arms since before he was 3 months old. He’s mad he can’t do more. He’s happy when we give him kisses. He’s happy when ever I insert his name into a song.

“The night you came into my life well it took the bones of me, took the bones of me. You blew away my storm and strife. And shook the bones of me, shook the bones of me”

Gavin makes me laugh. He doesn’t mess around. He gets to the point and I have a feeling he’s going to teach me a few things. He’s amazing. He watches his brother intently and it’s likely he’s absorbing every. single. move. He scares me but I’m not afraid of him. I’m excited for him.

“This is the goal: to get into your soul. If I could make you dance for joy”

He already dances.

Oh my life with you, oh my sweet boy. My goodness.

“Just in time to, catch a ride to, Something great, so come along and we can leave today”

“Live a life less ordinary. Live a life extraordinary with me”

Lyrics: Life Less Ordinary by Carbon Leaf (Curious George 2)

After he finally fell asleep at 10:30, I went to the basement to help Rob finish the train table and when I sat down on the floor my pajama pants split. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a big hole in your pants.

I still made my cinnamon rolls for breakfast though. And Christmas day was great with mine and Rob’s family here. My dad was here too!

Mostly I just wanted to share how I split my pants. And how somethings don’t go as you envision them to….like instead of writing a note together and picking out goodies for Santa you might be standing over your screaming child trying to decipher what he’s yelling/crying about and telling him you will talk to him when he calms down. And then he’ll say, “I DON’T WANT TO CALM DOWN.”  You’ll think about how you want to return all those gifts because clearly this is NAUGHTY LIST behavior.

But you won’t because there is NO WAY you are going back into those stores.

See my little blogging spot, right there?

I realize my windows look a little bald, I intend to take care of that if I can find what I like, but I don’t like to rush things like that. There were curtain sheers (from previous owner) but they were getting squished and looked funny so I just took them down tonight). I’ve had a color picked out for the accent wall (the red one I don’t hate) forever and when my neighbor popped over today she immediately asked me if I was going to paint and I said no. She was surprised, but while I tend to be a little “I want what I want when I want it” type of person, I am not fast on change when it comes to decorating. I like to take my time.

• I made dinner tonight and Rob said, “Oh, you are making dinner huh?” I don’t know what my problem is but I am not in the mood to make dinner like ever lately. It happened after Thanksgiving too and I think it stems from preparing and shopping for the big holiday meal and then I hit a wall and so I’m all, “Here’s  ANOTHER grilled cheese! Enjoy!” Personally, I could eat grilled cheese every night and live a full & happy life but some other people cannot. I made this recipe I found on pinterest for the third time tonight and they seem to be a hit. And they require minimal effort.
• Time seems to be going by really fast lately. I’m scared to turn 35 (in two weeks). It’s closer to my 40′s and I’m scared of my 40′s.
• I’ve been posting my pictures here. I ditched the recipe stuff because I just do not have the time. Clearly.  See above! There’s a few pics I’ve posted here but not all of them.
• I’ve stopped putting Luke to bed. Rob puts him to bed now and for just a few weeks we are avoiding me having anything to do with it at all. We are trying really hard to get him to go to bed and stay there. Because I’m with the kids all day by the time 8:00 rolls around I have the tendency to cave than stick to my guns because MY EARS HURT. Luke usually ends up on the couch next to me until he falls asleep or in bed with me if I go to bed early. Sometimes I don’t mind this but sometimes I just need that time at night. I need some time to look forward to when I can have peace & quiet. I’ve had a few people say to me that they think I’m a pushover when it comes to Luke. I felt insulted by that. I don’t think they meant that I don’t discipline at all or that my kid is a brat but that he just listens better to Rob. I guess that’s true but I hate that feeling I get in my stomach when people say stuff like that because I immediately feel like a bad mom.
• 2011 wasn’t a bad year at all. I remember being so glad that 2009 was ending because that year sucked and now it’s 2 years later. See what I mean about time moving fast? I’m excited for 2012. But I’m not so excited to be 35.
• My dad is finally home.

I took down all the decorations yesterday because I usually do, in fact, I’m surprised they decorations made it that long, I usually do it the night of Christmas. Our tree still looked good but it was clearly dead.  Those needles were like teeny tiny knives and every time I went to take an ornament off I was all, “Son of a B!”. And I think I heard the tree laugh. I think it might have pissed itself with laughter when I tried to get it out the door and a bunch of needles sort of shattered and flew all over including down my shirt and one of the needles stabbed me in the boob. So I told the tree to rot in hell (read: death of fire in our fire pit) and shoved it out the door (clearly I was calm and not frustrated at all!).

I thought I might leave the decorations up longer this year because we have kids who might care but there’s another reason I had to get all those decorations down besides the fact that I hate clutter. The decorations look nice those first few weeks but then it gets a little too cluttery and I hate clutter. And because we have new furniture being delivered today I wanted the extra clutter gone so I could clean before the new furniture comes and sort of start fresh with all the decorations put away, a clean house, and a new living room.

YIKES!  I feel so guilty about this.  The minute we left the store I wanted to go back in and return it and Rob was all, “Are you kidding me?”  And I said, “Oh crap, you’ve never experienced a big buy with me before have you?”

Yes, we bought this house together but we needed the house if we wanted to have more children. And well, I think that’s the only major purchase we’ve  made together. I consider anything over 1000 dollars a major purchase because 1000 dollars doesn’t seem like much to pay off (as long we don’t have several 500-900 dollar purchases with it!). It’s also easier if it’s something we need, and part of me felt like we didn’t really NEED this new furniture, however, when you can see the cushion through the fabric because it’s wearing so thin, then maybe you do.

I was feeling guilty on Saturday morning.  One of my friends and I were having a conversation over text and I told her we bought new furniture and I felt so guilty.  She said, “DON’T! You’ve had that green monster FOREVER!”

Hahaha.  It’s true.  I’ve had this furniture for almost 14 years. I loved it. I still love it. It’s incredibly comfortable. But it’s very big. And it’s sage green. Here’s a furniture tip: never buy furniture that you have to base your decorating around, buy furniture that you can decorate however you like and your furniture will match (read: neutral). The green monster and it’s side kick monster chair, worked great at the old house because paint colors were chosen based on the couch, but when we moved it didn’t work anymore. But it didn’t look bad and I lived with it. I didn’t want to change the paint colors though because I really liked what they had here already (minus the deep red accent wall, although I don’t hate it). I also figured that eventually we would get new furniture but with two boys, a dog, and a husband who wants his furniture with built in cup-holders, I didn’t want to deal with that purchase any time soon.

But then we saw a good deal on a commercial and we decided to go look. I was shocked because it wasn’t even my idea! And we found something. That we AGREED on AND its neutral, AND it will match anything, AND I can change out throw pillows if I want which I’ll be on the hunt for when the guilt of buying furniture disappears and I allow myself to spend money on anything other than groceries.

So YEAH!

I would say, “Rot in hell green monster!” But its not leaving the house and I don’t want hard feelings between us.

There’s a lot of protein in those nuts.  That’s all I’m saying.

My dad went to a rehabilitation place on Friday and I don’t like it.  I don’t like it one bit. What’s hard is that my dad is not the get up and move to make himself better type of person.  He’s a lazy person.  He does the least of whatever is required of him when it comes to anything physical. That’s just who he is and whatever, that’s okay but when you’re 62 and have laid in bed for 12 days, it’s not good on your body so he really needs to work hard to build up his strength again so he can come home. So I’m sad about that. I’m sad that he made a comment that he might not leave the rehabilitation center to come over for Christmas because it might be too hard for him to go back in. I get that.  But then I felt sad because Christmas would be weird with no one here but us. Rob thinks that’s weird when I say that. I don’t mean that our family of 4 isn’t enough but what I do mean is that it seems lonely. It seems not how I pictured it ever and this is my first Christmas without my mom in her right frame of mind. I’m not ready to not have my dad here too.

But my dad called me this morning  promising he would be home for Christmas (even if he has to go back) and asked me to make a prime rib.We usually have a big Polish feast with help from my mom and step-dad but that’s not happening anymore so we are making a new tradition and it’s going to be prime rib.  PRIME RIB!  I’ve never made prime rib, but I found a really yummy recipe that I think will be a hit.

It also helped that Rob had today off so we had planned to go visit Santa with the boys.  After the Santa visit I had a few errands to run for my dad so we dropped the boys off with my MIL.  We took care of my dads stuff, then we went out to lunch and I had 2 margaritas! WATCH OUT! Then together we went to finish up some odds and ends stocking stuffers which Rob probably would never understand this but that meant so much to me. And finally we stopped to visit my dad before picking up the boys.

Now that all my shopping is done and I have a Christmas dinner to prepare (it makes me happy to feed people), I feel content.

I got all A’s this semester too, which I found out last night when I checked my grades.

Last week my MIL told me that she loves me and that she got really lucky with having me for a DIL and that she couldn’t ask for a better one. I remember a time that I never thought it would be that way.  I feel lucky too.

I can’t wait for Christmas morning.  I’m off to make my grocery list!

(He’s right in front in the green shirt!)

And for extra bonus?  My dad is coming home tomorrow!! 

And then I start to think wow,  my family is DRAMATIC.  I mean this is all real and everything.  Yes, my mom has dementia, yes my dad has surgery, and yes so did my brother.  MY FREAKIN GOODNESS.  The real issue here is that both my dad and my brother need to fetch themselves a wife right quick so little sister and daughter doesn’t have to do everything.

Anyway, so yesterday when I went to the doctor for my reassurance, mind you I had had a lot of cramps and not just at a certain time but randomly throughout the month and you know….it kind of started freaking me out.  If the cramps are normal and everything is okay, then I can handle it.  I just wanted to make sure that everything was still in its right place.  Otherwise?  Oh the places my imagination can go.

After the doctor checks everything she was certain all was good but then she starts asking me questions about myself.  So I tell her everything I’ve done.  I don’t know.  I mean, yeah I’ve been busy and yeah, I’ve probably been neglecting myself and no, I don’ t sleep well but I just feel like this is LIFE.  She didn’t really see it that way.  She needs me to focus on me more.  Maybe this was because she noticed my toe nail polish hanging on by a thread on the tips of my toe nails and thought, whoa!

While she’s going on and on, I really wanted to say, “Have you discovered Pinterest?”  Because I think everyone should know about Pinterest.  The real saying should go, “Merry Pinterest one and all!!!”  After she commented on my iPhone case, I thought she might need to know about it, but I decided it was bad timing.

My point is Pinterest is great ME time.  Except sometimes it serves as a sad reminder it’s I’M BROKE time.

I just realized the sleeve of my shirt smells like baby throw up.

My whole point of this post that’s taking me forever to get to is that I always feel bad.  I feel bad when I take a night out away from my family, I feel bad when I can’t make it up to the hospital because I need a night home with my family (we are on day 12, ahem), I feel bad if Luke doesn’t get enough home cooked meals because of all this, I feel bad people have to help me because my family is a nightmare, I feel BAD.

There’s not enough ME time in the world that’s going to make that feeling go away.  How do I get rid of that?

Rob told me to figure out something to do today just for me.  Go to a movie, meet a friend for coffee, do something.  Well, I couldn’t find a movie I wanted to see and really?  You know what would make me the most happy?  Relaxing in a clean house.

Last night we had our first Christmas party with the in-laws and Luke got 3 big gifts in 3 big boxes and you know what?  Boxes are the devil and there’s all those little ties and plastic that’s around all the small crap and it gets all over the floor and you have to break down the boxes because they don’t fit in the trash bin and blah, blah, blah.  One thing is for sure, Luke LOVES his 3 big gifts and it almost makes me feel like he doesn’t even need the gifts we got him.  I don’t mean that snotty, I just mean it’s TOO MUCH STUFF.  He doesn’t need all that when you know what he’ll still play with the most?  His hockey sticks, football and baseball stuff.  GUARANTEED.

So I woke up this morning and made pancakes because I hadn’t made them in a really long time and they are Luke’s favorite.  After breakfast I made a solo trip to Target for formula & a few stocking stuffers and then I came home.  I wanted to just sit on the couch and log on pinterest but instead I cleaned the kitchen and dining room.  THEN I was going to log on to pinterest but I saw my human resources book and decided to finish my notes so I could get the final exam over with so I did that and completed my exam.  Two classes done, one to go!  It was then that I saw on our college website that my government prof gave us a full week of work in ADDITION to the final.  (BIG FAT BALL PUNCH)

I guess what I’m saying here is I’ve lost my ability to be lazy.

I want that shit back.

There’s the other thing that I’ve been GOING CRAZY NONSTOP SINCE LAST WEDNESDAY.

Ahem.

Grabbed your spiked eggnog and sit back to enjoy this fun ride:

It all started back in October when my dad told me he needed a biopsy on his lung since it kept retaining fluid and giving him a hard time when it came to breathing.  They had taken the fluid off a few times and assumed it normal since the removal of his kidney (archives: 2010).  But it wasn’t going away so they did a scan of his lung which showed some spots (dad called them spots, doctor called them MASSES.  Big difference, padre!)  So, when I hear the word biopsy, I think no big deal when it comes to the procedure.  I don’t think no big deal when it comes to the outcome but I didn’t think the procedure would be all that bad.  Well, it was.  I found out the day of the surgery just how invasive it was going to be and that dad was going be in the hospital for 5 days.  Whoa.  Fortunately no cancer was found!  Unfortunately he got a little pneumonia which meant he had to stay longer (he’s still there). I spent the weekend visiting dad, doing all my normal stuff including homework and just moving nonstop.

Go back a couple of months and The Brother has scheduled a surgery on his hip (read: not old, too many sports!) for yesterday.  He thought dad would be out of surgery to help him out (read: dad is always dramatic but not about THIS. Thanks dad!) and he was not out in time.  Obviously.  So The Brother was able to drive himself to surgery but I would pick him up.  He said surgery was at 8:30, he’d probably call around noon.  At 1:00 I hadn’t heard anything and began to worry so I called up there and found out he had just gotten to recovery.  Really?  How long was this?  I find out it was pretty bad and took a long time so apparently The Brother inherited his ability to underestimate from our FATHER.

It took The Brother 6 hours to come out of anesthesia.  While waiting for him I went to visit my dad who was in the same hospital in a different section. (SCORE!) (NOT REALLY!) Dad has a asked for somethings from home (at your service!) so I walk the 2 miles back to The Brothers room to get the keys to drive there to get the stuff.  This took me forever and when I got back The Brother was still in and out.  He asked me something about snow angels.

Finally!  I get him home, I get all of his prescriptions filled, I drug him up like a good little sister does and I leave him. I come home and hurry to finish a quiz and a response for government due by midnight.

I wake up today at 6:45 to a frantic text about missing prescriptions and going to the pharmacy.  He was confused.  He was remembering random conversations we had in-between his bouts of conscientiousness.  This makes me laugh.  He’s sorry he woke me.  But really I was already up.  I had to get both boys ready to be to Grandma’s by 9.  I get that done, I head over to The Brothers who needs a few things from the grocery store which was fine because I needed milk and he can’t live on energy drinks the whole time he’s stuck at home.  I get that done quickly and The Brother asks if I have numbers on the side of my car.  I don’t, I’m just efficient.  Then the realtor calls wanting a copy of our marriage license for the bank for the sale of the Cheese house (sure! what else am I doing today?)

I get back home around 11:00 and quick shower so my neighbor can take me to Costco (read: no membership) so I can get Luke’s last Christmas gift.  Remember when I was worried it would be gone?  It was.  YIPPEE!  I got something else though.  Something better. Before I jump in the shower though I call UPS because hello?  Where is my package I ordered on Black Friday?  The tracking said it was OUT FOR DELIVERY.  It did not say DELIVERED.  The woman on the phone is super sweet when she says, “This package is being delivered by your mail carrier.”

Oops.

I come back home from Costco and Rob helps me go pick up The Brother’s car from the hospital, he leaves with the car and I go up to visit dad who is questioning about everything going on with The Brother.

Over all this time Rob has had a cold.  A bad chesty, chills, freezing, I can’t breathe and I’m extra whiny cold which is not good since I’m running all over.  I try my best to give him breaks and naps when I can but it sucks, for him and for me.  I’m also washing all bedding and disinfecting everything (read: crazy psycho).

I leave dad to go pick up the boys and we go over to The Brother’s for one last check on him.  I made him soup, changed his socks (special socks to prevent blood clots) and I get home at 6:00.  I made homemade calzones.

I’ve finally now sat down because I’m dead.

I also read something that said, “You know you’re a runner when you see people running along side the road and you get jealous.”  That is so true of me.  My first instinct is to yell, “YEAH, good job!”  Especially when it’s someone who doesn’t look like a runner (you know what I mean) and my second is to go home, put my running shoes on and run.

However!  I have two kiddos who run my schedule and that makes it difficult.  When Luke was a baby I just put him the in the bouncy next to the treadmill and let the rhythmic sound of my feet hitting the treadmill lull him to sleep.  Worked like a charm.  It doesn’t seem that easy now.  But I think I could do it when Gavin naps and if Luke is just playing downstairs.  I can try to make that work.  I’m running a race in March so I guess I better make it work.

“A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more.”-unknown

My baby turned 7 months old.

I celebrated 5 years of love with my husband.

Luke crawled in bed with me on too many occasions.  Too many occasions that I am thankful for when I wake up with his little feet curled up under my back.

I made a turkey.

I put up a Christmas tree.

I was happy most of the time.

I was sad some of the time.  I might have cried a few times.

I wrote 3 papers.

I kissed my husband every day.

And I snuggled those sweet, sweet boys.

I worried for over half the month.

I wasted over a half of a month just worrying.

Stupid.

I want to be happy more, I want to worry less.  I want to pick up my camera even more, I want to always write.  I want to snuggle my family in giant family hugs, and I’ll keep kissing my husband every day.

I’m also going to make more cinnamon rolls.

Because they are delicious.

See you next year, November.  We’ll do this again.  And I’ll be more relaxed.  I’ll leave you this to jump-start your ovaries.  Also?  I can’t wait to see what he looks like this time next year.  Oh man.

Our Thanksgiving was quite lovely.  Lovely and bittersweet.  Here is where I say something that isn’t very nice.

It was the first Thanksgiving in years that my mom was not here and I was not stressed out at all.  I felt complete peace as I prepared dinner and I knew everyone would be on time to eat.

I feel bad saying that.  I feel bad because that’s not very nice to say even if it’s true and I feel bad that I let her affect me like that.  But when someone makes you feel a certain way how do you change that?  I’m not so sure.

On Saturday we went to get our Christmas tree.  Luke was really into it and it’s so awesome to see how his mind put things together.

This morning he’s been on the whiny side.  I haven’t really used the Santa thing to “threaten” him per say but we’ve talked a bit about Santa which includes naughty and nice but I feel like it’s such a lie!  And just a few minutes ago he asked me if he was going to be on the naughty list.  I mean, really?  YES!  If you don’t do everything I ask of you, YES!

No presents!

Yeah, right.

The advent calendar is out and I’ve thought about a treat in there on a few of the days but if I take the time to time it out right, I’m going to put activities in some of them too.  School will be over shortly and I want to do a few crafts.  The Thanksgiving turkey was a hit with him (although I kept swearing at the glue not sticking) and he seemed proud when we were done.

Yesterday was filled with homework.

I didn’t eat one plate of leftovers this year.  It did not sound good to me.

If Gavin is walking before Christmas I might fall over dead.

Have a good Monday!

“Hmmm, this is good, Momma.  This is gonna give me gas.”

“Wait, what did you say?”

“This is gonna give me gas.  That’s what Lightning McQueen says.”

Okay, so that’s a little better.

I didn’t really have any shopping to do today that would be any better of a deal than say tomorrow, so I didn’t go out.  Or I didn’t plan to go out.  Last week when I went grocery shopping I pretty much bought enough for two weeks, there was just a few things I might need to pick up like milk and eggs.  I had enough milk to get through today to avoid hitting the store but guess what I was running low on?  WIPES.  Hello genius!  I get my wipes at Target.  I love Target.  But I didn’t want to go there today.  Well, then the new Christmas lights I bought last month (two new sets of 100 since my sets that were on my garland for the last 7 years took a crap last Christmas) didn’t work!  I got them half way around my garland and half the strand stopped working.  I was getting so frustrated.  So then I said, “These fricken lights are going back to the store!”

“What fricken lights, Mommy?”

Um, oops?

At least it was only fricken!

So then I gave up.  Luke needed my attention, Gavin was waking up and my frustration told me it was just bad timing.  It’s also kind of difficult to fold laundry in a sea of Christmas decorations so I packed up the kiddos and we hit the store.  I did get one deal on something at Hobby Lobby for 7.00.

And then we hit up Target and I only left with the wipes! I didn’t see one deal that would benefit me.  I did try to scope out some deals for the kids online with Gap and ON today but the website kept crashing so I said forget it.  And the few items I did finally get to see something that I might potentially like, they didn’t have the sizes I would need.

The biggest shock of all yesterday was at dinner.  Luke is really weird about meat.  He’s not really a huge fan and I don’t push it.  The kid loves other healthy stuff and he will eat some meat.  What he definitely won’t eat is meat on a sandwich.  He won’t eat a turkey or ham sandwich or something like that, his idea of the perfect sandwich is pb&j all the way.  So yesterday when I made his plate I just put a bit of everything and I wasn’t going to worry about it.  He picked up the piece of turkey FIRST THING and just killed it.  Ate it all.  And had seconds!  He basically ate the turkey, rolls, and sweet potatoes.  He has never ever liked mashed potatoes.  For some reason I think that is odd.

Apparently the turkey did it’s job though.

That was an hour after dinner.

Do you shop on Black Friday?  If so, what was your best deal?

I failed.  I gave it a good go though.

But let’s not dwell on that.

Luke has said some really cool stuff lately that I want to remember.

Luke:  I’m not a big boy.

Me:  Yes, you are, but you are still little too.

Luke:  No, I’m still pooping in my pants so I’m not getting my fire truck.

Rob:  You can still do it and if you do, guess what?

Luke:  WHAT?

Rob:  If you do it then daddy will take you to a Whitecaps game! (baseball)

Me:  OR!  A Griffins game! (hockey)

Luke:  No, no…I want a RED WINGS game!

Well isn’t he a little negotiator!

Yesterday we made a turkey and I asked him what he was thankful for so I could write in on the feathers.  My favorite answer was, “Myself!”

After we did our turkey craft we sat down to eat dinner and Rob said, “Do you know why we celebrate Thanksgiving?”

“Yes, because we are a family.”

I couldn’t be more thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving from my turkeys!

But first!

Photo catch up.

Something blue:

This little elephant is a life saver.  Gavin loves him.  He was really dirty so I gave him a bath and when I was hanging him back on the car seat I discover, “Hey! He’s blue!”

Technology:

I really wanted to take a picture of a rotary phone or a VCR but I haven’t found myself near either of those in…well….a decade or so.  My iPhone.  Or my iLove as I like to call it.

Shoes:

I love these shoes.  I particularly like gray shoes.  I’m a huge fan of grey in general.  I get a lot of compliments on them.  I got these gray flats at American Eagle in early 2010.  I’ve also been wearing my black riding boots a lot which I’ve gotten 3 compliments on in a week and all 3 people almost fell over dead when I told them I got them at Target.  I think that’s strange.  The only thing about the black riding boots is there is no zipper so you have to wear them with leggings or skinny jeans.  There’s no cramming a straight leg in them.  My favorite shoes are probably my Merrell’s but I also enjoy the Ugg boot.  Because there is nothing like my foot inside those boots.  My toes rejoice!

Anyway, I took another picture on Friday.  This one is eyes and I had just waxed my eyebrows and the hair on my upper lip (you’re welcome) and I thought it was my best wax job yet so I took a gander.

Here’s my eyes:

I’m pretty proud of some of my pictures lately because a few of them I haven’t had to edit at all.  BUT!  Of course there’s a but!  I have some pre-set settings on my camera that I labeled PEOPLE or THINGS.  I left it on THINGS so I’m a bit more saturated (orange?) then I think I really am but oh well.

So there it is, EYES!

Okay, what I’m behind on:

Something Blue

Yourself with 13 Things

Silhouette (I’ve never done a silhouette before so this should be interesting)

Long Exposure

Technology

My Shoes

Something Orange

Bokeh

I’m off to work on those pictures, fold laundry, and do research for two papers that are due in two weeks.

If I finish one of those papers by Tuesday I get 5 extra points.  HAHAHAHAHA.

I found this picture today.

I miss her. I miss her most when I tell Nala to go lay down and instead she barks at me and chases her tail.

Star didn’t do either of those things. Oh no. That required movement.

I think that’s three hugs and two punches in the balls.

So homework didn’t take that long since all I had was my HRM class.

I spent the morning at Costco replenishing diapers, formula, and detergents of the sorts. Everything I bought a month ago lasted me a month or it’s still going so now I have another month before I need to go again. I’m really impressed with the cost of some of their toys and they have everything there I want to get Luke so I think I’m going back in a week or so to go Christmas shopping. Does anyone else shop there?

I’ve also wanted to talk about how I’ve started grocery shopping at Aldi. Do you have an Aldi? If not, here is the website. If you poke around on the left you can see how they are able to be so cheap. I was skeptical of this store in the beginning. I had this preconceived thought that the food would be bad quality and not taste as great. But then my neighbor told me she shopped there, and then my cousin (who is very picky) told me she shopped there and when I was hearing the total of their grocery bills….I was way curious! I’ve been shopping there now for a couple of months at least and I’m super happy with everything. In fact, several of the items that I thought I wouldn’t buy there because I was picky about and preferred a certain brand? I actually like better! Wait, that’s a lie, there is ONE thing that is not and that’s Cheez-its, but hello? You cannot buy the off-brand of Cheez-its, you just can’t.

After Gavin was born I increased our weekly food/needs budget to $130 to cover the extra costs of diapers/formula but now I’m only spending $100 if that on everything. I’m getting all of our food at Aldi for an average of $55 (not including soda) and then I get everything else at Target or Costco. Today I spent $140 at Costco but I will not need diapers, pull-ups (still working on that potty training!) for a month, and I won’t need dishwasher or laundry detergent for two months. I bought two big cans of formula and that might only last me 3 weeks. We’ll see because he’s starting to eat lunch and dinner now. I must also add that while I’m spending less on food at Aldi, I actually have MORE food. More options for breakfast and lunch which before I would mainly focus on dinner which was doable when Luke was younger but now he wants a few more options and I’m able to give him those.

I’ve tried to do this for MONTHS and I want to KICK myself for not having faith in Aldi way back in the day!

I’m not quite sure why I shared all that I’m just saying how happy I am to be saving money.

I’m a bit behind on the photography challenge. I think I can catch up but I’m not so sure I’m going to be able to capture a sunset in November. We’ll see. The best thing I’ve learned so far from this? MANUAL FOCUS. What a difference! It never occurred to me before. I’m always so amazed at when you figure something out on accident that you could’ve figured out like A MILLION years ago. Amazed and dumbfounded with myself.

I’m not sure I shared this but I’ve been asked to shoot two weddings next year and an engagement session. I’m really scared. I’m scared because….family photos? Baby photos? Even engagement photos? If I honestly messed it up somehow so badly, I could say….hey, let’s do those again. But a wedding? There are no do overs. I mean, they know what they are getting into which is that I’m not a PROFESSIONAL photographer that charges $3000, they’ve seen my photos, and they know what they are paying so I think they know what to expect but still THERE ARE NO DO OVERS. Also? After I assisted with that wedding last August I remember specifically saying the one thing I learned that day was that I didn’t want to be a wedding photographer.

The thing about being a wedding photographer is about a thousand special moments during a wedding and it’s impossible to catch each one and that makes me sad. Like it actually makes me mad because that’s all I want to do and I can’t do it. So there. But I will still shoot these weddings for these wonderful brides because I enjoy it. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be a “photographer” at all, I like to do it for friends and on the side and if I could make a little money than great, but my main plan and focus is finishing my degree and getting back into the work place. Recently this blogger wrote this and I related to that because I have a feeling I’m going to feel like that. I’ve especially loved this time with them but with Gavin turning one next year and Luke going into preschool, I do think it will be time. The perfect time.

While writing this I had to get up no less than 10 times.

And that concludes this post which is really more of a book.

Unrelated: I thought the blog share was really good. I love those!

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So I have this drunk neighbour. I call her, appropriately enough, Drunk Neighbour.

Drunk Neighbour lives next door to my family’s vacation place. We do not have a TV. We do not need one. We have Drunk Neighbour. We think she is hilarious, because we do not have to live next to her year-round. The other neighbours cannot stand her.

I am pretty sure Drunk Neighbour learned everything she knows about human interaction by watching reality television. In fact, I think she would make a decent reality star. During the summer, we were treated to gems like this:

“I GOTTA SHOVEL THE DOG SHIT INTO THE NEIGHBOURS’ BUSHES.” Those would be HER dog’s shit, and OUR bushes.

“YOU BETTER NOT CUT DOWN ANY TREES. ONE OF THE NEIGHBOURS MIGHT CALL CODE ENFORCEMENT ON YOU. ONE OF THE *OTHER* NEIGHBOURS…” I assured her we had no interest in cutting any trees. The code-enforcement officer showed up the next day, saying she’d received a complaint that we had “cut down lots of trees”. I was actually relieved, because of all of the frivolous and vexatious complaints Drunk Neighbour could have made against us, cutting trees is probably the easiest to disprove. No stumps = no cutting. If she’d complained that we’d dumped noxious chemicals into the water supply, we’d still be dealing with it.

“I WANT A JURY TRIAL” (Sheriff: “Ma’am, the maximum fine for this offence is $50.”)

“I WILL NOT TELL YOU MY NAME. I WILL NOT. I WILL NOT. FINE. ARREST ME.”

About a week after we met her, she showed up at our door with this stream of consciousness:

“I WANNA LOOK AT YOUR LAKE HOUSE. THIS IS NOT A CAMP. DO NOT SAY THIS IS A CAMP. THIS IS A LAKE HOUSE. I WANNA LOOK AT IT. THE OTHER NEIGHBOUR CAME OVER AND WANTED TO LOOK AT MY PLACE. WHO DOES THAT??? WE SHOULD GO TO THE BAR. THERE ARE LOTS OF MEN THERE. I GOT A D.U.I., BUT MY DAUGHTER CAN DRIVE US. THAT NEIGHBOUR OVER THERE TOOK ME TO COURT. AND THAT ONE OVER THERE IS AWFUL, JUST AWFUL.”

Last Christmas, we idly looked over at Drunk Neighbour’s house and saw her shovelling snow out of her living room. I am still hoping to find out the details about that one.

I’m guessing the story starts with “WELL, I WAS DRUNK”, but I suppose I could be wrong.

I’d be lying if I pretended I’m not really, really looking forward to my next visit.
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If you would like to read more of the Blog Share anonymous posts, here’s the list:

Andrea Unplugged
April On Ashley
Bright Yellow World
Drifts Get Deeper
Malfeasance
Our Little Geekling
The Reluctant Grownup
Together They Come
Did I Say That Outloud?
Snarke
Operation Pink Herring
Nonsense and Frippery
Mama Bub
Heidikins
Nothing Is Easier Than Self-Deceit
Barfing Rainbows and Unicorns
And You Know What Else

When I go to the store with Luke, which is every time I go to the store, I’ve been scrolling the toy aisles with him to get ideas for Santa.  I take pictures with my cell phone to remember so we can make a list for Santa the night we put the tree up.

I’m so confused on what to get this child.  He already has a lot of toys but there are more toys that he’s interested in and plays with every. single. day than he does other toys so I want to get him more toys like that.

And Gavin….I have no clue.  He needs something though because where are the toys Luke played with at 7 months?  Or did I not have them or what?  I thought we did.  Basically he’s into chewing on whatever he can find.  He really likes to stand up so I might get him something to aid in his standing but is that it?

Of the few ideas I have for Luke one is a doctors kit:  sometimes he will ask me to be his patient and check out my knees, eyes, and ears so I thought he might like this and when he saw it in the store he was definitely interested.

He’s also really into construction/police/helicopters/ambulance, so I found like these bigger than matchbox cars but smaller than say….a giant Tonka truck of these CAT construction vehicles (assorted) and then the same size police car, helicopter, fire truck and ambulance.  I think they were like 5.99 a piece.  He’s had  his eye on this GIGANTIC fire truck with a fire truck house but both of those together will be over 100 dollars.  I just feel like he gets more options with the smaller ones….and then he can get more stuff because I’m also thinking of buying him more tracks for his Thomas stuff I bought him last year and 2 or 3 more trains, but will he be sad when he doesn’t get those two big items that he’s been asking for since we started potty training?

See, here’s the thing.  Those two big items were the items he would get to pick from when he went 2 full weeks with no accidents.  We are not even close to there yet so should I just stick with that those presents are for potty training?

Thoughts?

He also really wants the lightsabor that actually lights up.

And, am I the only one who panics that these toys will be gone when you try to go and buy them?  Because I am.  I was planning on going the week after Thanksgiving but I’m feeling like I need to get them, what if they are gone?

I’m also really excited so maybe that’s why.