Off My Chest

Let me introduce myself….. 

“Stacey, meet Pavement”.

“Hi Pavement!  So nice to drive on you again.  Stick around!”

———————————————————————-

Dear Lady with the fupa,

Stop touching my belly and calling me pudgy. 

I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse?

Eat shit Yours truly,

Moi!

————————————————————————-

Dear Husband,

Thank you for calling me beautiful every day, and even especially when I happen to be naked and getting in the shower while you are brushing your teeth and I say things like, “do you still find me sexy even if my body isn’t as svelte as it use to be?”  Initially you laugh that I would think to use the word svelte but then you tell me that I am the most beautiful because I’m carrying your baby and that is the sexiest thing you have ever seen.

That makes it all worth it.

You are gonna get some tonight,

Your Wife

—————————————————————————

Dear Girl Scouts,

I heart you and you are just precious.  But keep those cookies away from me.  I realize I ordered them, yes I did, but I also didn’t realize I would eat a half of a box in one sitting that would result in me telling my husband, “You take the rest of these boxes and you hide them.  You hide them real good, do you understand me?”

Stay cute,

Crazy Cookie Lady

—————————————————————————

Dear Baby Jesus,

Forgive me Baby Jesus, for I have sinned.  Like seriously sinned and FAILED.   But cut me some slack okay?  I haven’t failed in the fast food arena, just these damn sweets!  The baby wants them!  You are a baby, you get it right?

Love always,

Hungry Mommy to be in Michigan

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4 Comments

  1. : ))) that cookies confession was brilliant, I lol!
    And your hubby is the cutest!

    Reply
  2. How CUTE! It’s hilarious how much you’re getting into sweets right now. I hate sushi. Maybe someday when I’m pregnant, I’ll be craving that like you crave hotdogs. 🙂

    I LOVE the husband letter. I’m such a sap I got chills AND teared up. Your husband is awesome. (And so is your closing to the letter!)

    Reply
  3. FUPA!!! LOL!!! I had to explain that word to one of my friends the other day!!!

    Reply
  4. I would have hit her! You are so clearly beautifully pregnant! Stupid woman. And ewww FUPA.

    Reply

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