Suck It Up

I’ve been pretty proud of the fact that Luke will sleep through pretty much anything.  Anything except Star’s nails on the wood floor.  I swear, anything but that.  But in Luke’s defense it IS the most excruciating sound ever and she’s lucky I love her.  Anyway, when this kid is sleeping I can vacuum right next to him and he won’t even flinch.

Until today, however, when I began cleaning (I actually started last night but I’m telling you I have to clean in shifts especially since Rob’s been out of town since Monday and my child is trying to climb my legs.  I am not a tree.) which involved me bringing out the vacuum to suck up Star’s never ending dog hairballs.  Luke’s jumping away in the jumperoo, I smile at him, sing him a little diddy I made up and proceed to plug in the demon vacuum.  I’m still singing the diddy as I push power and woohoo we are vacuuming…..and SCREAMING, and SHAKING ARMS, and there are REAL TEARS AND EVERYTHING.  I shut off the demon vacuum and begin to explain how it’s just a vacuum and not a demon vacuum, but screaming continues.  I pick him up and he is grabbing my shirt for dear life, kinda like I’m sure Michael Jackson’s baby was when he hung it over that balcony years back.  I mean, he is not letting go.  I realized then that maybe I had not made the proper introductions.  I sat down next to it, told Lukey to feel it and I showed him where the power button was and how cool it is to turn on and off (yeah right, vacuuming sucks. ha.), all while using my calm soothing voice (try to imagine it).  Luke tries to strangle me with his chubby baby arms boaconstricting around my neck.  Okay, it’s obvious this kid is horrified but I still need to vacuum the rug, so I torture my kid for 60 seconds while I vacuum the area rug in the living room.  He lived through it but it was clear he did NOT enjoy.

Hey kid, I don’t like it either, believe me, I’d much rather put that mean old demon vacuum in the trash to never be seen again but I’m pretty sure that a car sized hairball from Star would be a lot scarier.

Leave a comment


  1. floridagal

     /  April 23, 2009

    this is one of your best posts. i laughed so hard!!! thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Poor kid! And poor you! Vacuuming is no fun already.


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