I don’t know what would happen if Claude didn’t answer. I didn’t plan on that.

I’m currently in the midst of one of THOSE days, whatever that means when you put THOSE in ALL CAPS and it’s supposed to mean something.  It’s dreary, again, and I have a child with an overabundance of energy that needs to be expelled by playing outside because if he doesn’t expel it that way then it makes a transformation internally and comes out of his mouth as WHINING and that is enough to make me want to lock myself in the bathroom with a bottle of red and some cheese.

Yeah right, me?  I wish.  I did lay him down for his nap a half hour early though so take that.  Nothing was making him happy and he kept asking me for something I could not decipher so I did what any good mother would do, I held up everything in our house and said, “Is THIS what you want?” And he said clearly, “Ah, NO MOTHER NOT THAT” (that I could decipher!) SO THEN!  I did what every good mother would do next and I googled it, but then google told me it was the last name of someone named Claude.

I really wanted to call Claude at that moment and be all, “Hey Claude, by any chance in hell does your last name translate to, ‘Mom, I would like to be a big boy now and only pee and poop on the potty!’?  And by the way Claude, I love your name and I’m pretty sure the next gnome, penguin or chicken to enter our house will for sure be named Claude, if it’s a boy, of course.”

At that point Claude would probably tell me I’m crazy and question how one could think that a small word like his last name might translate into such a sentence like the one I proposed, but I’m telling you Claude it IS possible.  I mean, am I not the only one who notices that when it comes to translating say….Mandarin Chinese that I have tried to learn before when I used to have the sweetest Chinese lady EVER working for me a few years back and I would say to her, “Fong, teach me how to say, “Hi, how are you doing?  Would you like to come over for dinner?”  She would reply to me with two words and I was like, “What? How does THAT equal that?” And she would tell me, “It do Statee, it do, now REPEAT.”  So that’s what I would tell Claude.  Fong was sweet but she was also a little bossy.

So yeah, aren’t you glad you stopped by here today?  Me too.

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  1. Sassafras

     /  April 7, 2010

    HAHAHAHA! You crack me up.

  2. HAHAHA. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am!

  3. HILARIOUS!!!!! 🙂

  4. Jenj

     /  April 15, 2010

    needed a laugh and u gave me one statee… thanks ❤


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