The Position Has Been Filled

I’m not sure how to even begin to tell the story about how my aunt told a friend of the family that my dad hadn’t had sex in a while.  So I won’t.  Maybe another time.

I was so glad to arrive home on Monday but it felt as though I was pumped up with enough adrenaline to run a marathon.  I made a pot of coffee and prepared myself for a long night of studying and online exam taking.   Finally on Tuesday I was done!  When I got home it was time to put Luke down for his nap and even though the piles of laundry were enormous and the hairballs were as big as bunnies in all  my corners, I still just needed to sit down and relax for a minute.  My DVR was full and I just wanted to catch up a few things for MYSELF before moving forward.  And that’s when I all of the sudden the adrenaline wore off and I could barely move.  The exhaustion caught up with me and my eyes felt like someone was sitting on them.

Last night though, somewhere between trying to catch up with my husband and getting dinner ready, my phone rang.  It was for a job.  A job that I am completely qualified for.  A job that when I applied, I told myself to be ready because they would probably most likely call me.  Not that I’m all that but of all the jobs I could apply for, this one would be the one to call, and they did.

She was nice.  She was concerned though, concerned that it wasn’t what I wanted.  She was right.  I don’t want to do what I did before but it doesn’t mean I WON’T.  What happened was that I have two resumes, the only difference is the objective.  I have applied for just a few jobs that are involved with what I did before because, I don’t know, just to see.  And also because I’m not going to be that way completely.  Do you know what I mean?  I feel like I’m missing the right words to describe what I’m saying, but anyway, she asked me what my goals were and I told her.  But I also told her I did apply for jobs that pertained to my experience because they might be worth it.  In my mind (I didn’t tell her this) I just decided that I’m just doing everything I can do to change the direction I was going as far as my career, I’m also doing everything I can to better my situation (like my education) and that hopefully just by doing this that it will fall into place.  So she told me that she still was very interested in me and wanted to interview me on Friday.  When I got off the phone with her, all the pros and cons came rushing to me at once and  internally I just said to myself what I always say, if it’s meant to be, it will happen and then maybe I know this is what I should do.  If it doesn’t, then proceed on.  But I knew if I got an offer it would be hard to figure that out.  Sometimes I’m bad at that.

Well, I got my answer today when she called me and told me that they wouldn’t need me to come in on Friday because they position had been filled with someone they felt would be a good fit.

I kinda felt like I was in the movie Mary Poppins when she gets the position as nanny and the maid is told to go tell all the others they are dismissed, only when she goes to the door there’s just a dog there. Except, I’m not Mary.  I’m the dog.


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  1. I’m sorry that I didn’t work out, kiddo. Hugs!

  2. Like you said, though, maybe it’s for the best.

    • Stacey

       /  April 29, 2010

      Yes, I’d rather have the decision made for me than get the offer and figuring out the right thing to do. 🙂


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