A Memory That Could Have

Do you ever have a dream and you wake up with feelings about it and then you fall back asleep and the next time you wake it’s gone from your memory?

That happened to me today.  But then I remembered it while I was in the shower and I’ve been almost crying ever since.

I had a dream about my grandfather last night.  My mom’s dad.  It was just a picture of him in my dream but he seemed so real and there.  After that dream I had a dream about my mom.  We were getting ready to make Thanksgiving dinner together only she forgot to defrost the turkey and we were both so astonished because my mom would never forget something like that and then we laughed and laughed I was kneeling on the floor laughing so hard.

I woke up and I wanted to cry.  Because that will never happen.  My heart ached with that missing feeling.  I missed her. She’s right across town and I miss her more than I ever could.  Even though the dream is what made me emotional, I really don’t mind the dream….it’s almost a memory that could’ve happened.  Maybe.

While in the shower I had this panic feeling that I hadn’t seen the Christmas CD in a while.  The one from my childhood. The one from her mother.  And on the way to school I wondered if I had ripped it to the new laptop I got in 2009 because I was certain I had to our old computer the minute I got it, but the old computer had died.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t miss place it, it’s very important to me and it’s probably tucked away with the Christmas decorations but the thought of it being gone was making me almost cry all the way here (to class).

It’s here, it’s on this computer.

Thank you.  Because it’s what I hang on to.

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1 Comment

  1. Sassafrass

     /  November 15, 2010

    Dreams stick with me too. I’m glad you found the CD. It is so much more than just a CD.

    Reply

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