It’s hard sometimes.  I’m tired.  I’ve made breakfast, I’ve made lunch, I’ve made dinner.  The dog won’t leave me alone.  I’ve gotten up 27 times to refill water or milk.  Folded laundry sits in 3 laundry baskets at the top of the stairs.  The same stairs I decided to ride down on my butt instead of walk.  My butt hurts, it still hurts.  I miss the sunshine.  I miss being outdoors.

And then it was Tuesday night, or maybe it was Wednesday night.  You only wanted me.  You only want me  a lot lately.  Gosh, I’m so tired but I love you more than words so I came in your room, read you the book and laid with you.  You might think I lay there for you, and yes, I do, but sometimes it’s for me too.  I close my eyes so that maybe you will close yours too.  I just want to rest.


“What’s up, babe?”

“I love you.”

I kept my eyes closed but behind my eyelids were tiny tears.  You have never said you loved me before.  Not on your own.  Not without me saying it first.  And that’s been fine, I never really thought about it until that moment last week.

Last night I laid with you again.  I like your pillows better than my own.

I closed my eyes again in hopes you will copy me.  I feel you moving around, struggling to get comfy.  Finally, you settle a bit and I think maybe you are asleep….until I feel you sit up.  I feel the words coming to my lips to tell you to sit back and close your eyes, but before the words come out I feel your tiny arms around my neck and your head on my shoulder.  You just hugged me and then laid back down.

Thanks for reminding me of this amazing privilege.  I think I sort of forget that sometimes.

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  1. michelle

     /  February 28, 2011

    Aww…this brought tears to my eyes. What a special moment!

  2. This is awesome.

  3. Sassafras

     /  March 1, 2011

    Oh good lord woman. I’ve already had a bagel and chocolate chip cookie this morning so I guess why not add crying? So amazingly beautiful.

  4. Oh that sweet, sweet boy. I’m so glad you’ve written this down so that you can remember it forever. 🙂

  5. Kenj

     /  March 10, 2011

    ok, you made me cry…aren’t those little moments just soooooo good. It right about the time, i think, what have i gotten myself in to…lol…and then they bust out the cute shit!!


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