Every time I even think about getting on my computer, Gavin starts crying.  I usually notice him smile and I then I hear him laugh a little and then I walk towards my computer and he screams.  It actually JUST happened after I finished that run on sentence.  I thought I had him hypnotized by the flying bird, monkey, and butterfly flying above him in his swing but I WAS WRONG.  Now he is next to me in his bouncy going to town on his pacifier but only about 10 sucks at a time and then he spits it out all angry style and then I give it back to him.  It’s a game.  I AM LOSING.  If he decides he’s not into that game, he plays another one where he continues to suck on the pacifier but I still look over to make sure he’s okay and while keeping the pacifier in his mouth; he smiles.  He’s all, “Ha, ha made you LOOK!”

This means that I have done 99% of my internetting on my teeny tiny Blackberry which means a lot of squinting and a guarantee of 100% blindness by the time I reach 60.  But that’s not even the worst part, the worst part is I can’t comment on other blogs on my TTBB (teeny tiny blackberry)  (that sounds dirty) (maybe not? okay then).  I could just not internet at all, right?  YEAH RIGHT.  That TTBB is necessary when I’m on my 500th episode of Team Umizoomi or EVEN BETTER:  Max and Ruby.  And all the cartooning is not a result of bad parenting but it’s because Mother Nature is a bitch.  You think she would know better, being a mother and all that…..we don’t need THIS much rain.  Or can she spread the rain out a little more so that we can get our wild children outside to burn some energy?  But I think it’s safe to assume that she’s not hearing, “WHY?” fifty thousand times a day married with “WHAT THAT DO?”  THAT being anything in the moment, like a….plate.  Plates only do so much!  And why they do it, well, I DON’T KNOW.  What I do know is that plates don’t vacuum or do the dishes or babysit my children while I take a nap.  I do know that.  If you know that, you are already half way there to being parent of the year.  Or at least getting nominated.

While both children are actually in a daze right now, I must go.  My neighbor is texting me.  THAT’S RIGHT!  We have reached a whole new level of texting in our relationship.  Interesting, since I’ve been told that people only see me as a stuck up bitch.  I guess it could be worse.

Anyway, please read this!  If you are a mom, you will like it, and if you are not a mom, you will still like it.

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  1. michelle

     /  June 1, 2011

    what’s up with the stuck up comment? You are not!

  2. The weather is finally, finally, finally nice here. Of course it is. Because today is my first day back to work. Suck it, mother nature!

  3. A stuck up bitch? Really?! I find you to be absolutely delightful! OMG, is this just your internet persona?!!! I refuse to believe it. 🙂


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