Decisions

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about choices. The end of summer is here, we have one week left before the first day of preschool and I feel like it’s not just the summer season that’s ending for us but a season in our lives. Luke starting school, even just preschool….this is it. He will now be in school for the next 14 years.

His first day of school lands on September 10th. This is a date in my mind that does not go unnoticed. It’s a date that changed my life forever. Changed me. I became someone else. A better person, a better mother because of it. That date is no longer a sad one for me, it hasn’t been a sad day for me in a long time. Last year it passed by me and I didn’t even notice until it was September 11th, which is a date that will also never be forgotten, so when I realized it was the 11th, I then realized that it had been the 10th. The difference between September 10th, 2004 and September 10th, 2012? What a bittersweet difference. A great difference. It stands out to me this year because it’s the day Luke starts school and after the second time I had something similar happen, I didn’t know if I’d ever have children. And now my oldest is starting school on that one date. How wonderful. I feel so blessed. It’s not as if I feel my life would be terrible if September 10th, 2004 had never happen but it’s just so clear to me now why it had to happen. I feel lucky I had that experience and now I get to have this one.

I start my new job on September 10th as well. I got the phone call on Friday that they want me to start early because they need me to work on a project before the maternity leave begins in October. A lot of good things are happening, things that I have worried and pondered over for the last 3 years since this journey began and it’s all going in a great direction even if it is just temporary. I couldn’t be more excited.

The choice I’m thinking about making is closing this blog. It’s getting to the point where my photography “business” (I guess, still surprises me) is taking on a life of its own and I’m ready to start a real website. The reason this blog could no longer exist is because I’m strongly considering using Together They Come as part of my business. If you don’t know, Together They Come comes from this poem that’s from a book that was given to me right after September 10th, 2004 and it has always stuck with me.

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow,’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’ But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.” -Kahlil Gibran

It’s the truest thing I’ve ever read. It’s exactly how I feel about photography. Photography to me isn’t even always about how great my picture looks but about the moment I can capture, sad or happy. And when people look back on pictures I take, or when I look back on the pictures I take, I want to feel exactly what I see in the picture.

Besides all of that though, because I may not choose to use this phrase, I’m sort of ready to be public. Public to the people who know me. It gets old being anonymous, being afraid of being found out…I want to share Style All Over with anyone, and I want to share my photoblog with anyone without ever feeling like they would find me here. I can’t do that if this blog is open.

I’m not making any decision right this second, it’s just a thought, something I’ve considered. It’s hard because I like this space but it’s not as if I can’t still write here and keep it for my eyes only. This was never and never will be a space that I intended to make anything big out of. It’s always been a dear diary moment for me but it has brought some pretty awesome connections into my life and I intend to keep those.

Like I said, it’s not just the season of summer coming to end….

So this last week will be a lot of family time and a coming up weekend away right before school and work starts. I’m really excited.

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3 Comments

  1. Michelle S.

     /  September 4, 2012

    well said. XOXO

    Reply
  2. Becky

     /  September 4, 2012

    Copy cat.
    Ha! Just kidding!
    It’s cool that the photography thing is taking off.

    Reply
  3. Please don’t go….and if you do, make sure you tell us where you went to 🙂

    Reply

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