How I Ramble

Last week was a rough week. I fear this week will be similar. They will all be similiar until November 12. Everyday I work and then I come home and know that I need at least an hour if not two on the computer for school and this just feels like so much. After it’s accomplished it’s all good but the idea feels terrible. I’m tired. Rob worked this weekend too and so that never helps. It’s not usually a big deal for me when he works his normal scheduled weekend but this was a trade weekend so he had just worked a weekend 2 weeks ago. I also had a paper to write and a test due that was timed so I must be able to do it my children are not awake and have been asleep for at least 60 minutes. So Friday night I spent 2 hours writing plus another 30 minutes on responses. And Saturday night I spent finishing an assignment and taking that test.
I miss my husband. We desperately need a date.
So this week I have 2 papers due by Friday, 2 assignments due by Sunday, 3 questions to answer, and I must respond to all of these discussions as if I care and all by Friday and Sunday. I have a baby shower on Sunday on the other side of the state that I’m leaving Saturday for because my cousin missed our last visit and I said I would come stay the night so we could hang out and now I’m totally regretting it.
I just want to be finished with school. So badly. I think working and attending classes is completely doable but I think 2 classes would be the limit for me.
Luke is loving school but he already has a cough and a cold so now guess who has a sore throat this very second? ME!
Gavin is WILD and out of CONTROL, and so freaking AWESOME. That kid is hilarious. He’s going to be the child who makes me laugh when I’m mad at him.
Rob is such a huge help. Seriously. I don’t know what it is but when I was interning he was a huge help too and now he’s back at it, why can’t he do this when I’m not working? I wonder if it’s a subconscience thing? Anyway, love him for that. Love him anyway.
Monday night is pizza night so at least I don’t have to cook on Mondays.
My interest in cooking is gone. I have zero. I wonder if it’s because I don’t have the time to put the effort in right now or if it’s because I end up throwing away what I make? I have a real problem with wasting food and money so I struggle that it’s too much food and it goes in the trash. However, I am not stupid. I realize that in the near future with all 3 of my boys in the house, I may need to start doubling recipes. Eh, I guess there’s a enough time too cook in 2015 then.
Last week also brought me some bad news about my mom. This has been hard to absorb and I’m having a hard time believing it because who would want to? My mom was admitted a week and a half ago for observation for a change in her medication. They wanted to observe her while they made the changes. As it turns out she is entering her next stage of dementia. The stage that starts to effect how her brain controls her organs. When this happens they only give patients 6 months to a year to live. I guess I’ve been so busy worrying about how long she’d have to live like this and focused on how I don’t think it’s fair to her and she’s so confused and upset that I didn’t stop to think what the actual alternative was. Weird how our brain and our hearts do that.
I can’t write anymore right now.
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  1. Becky

     /  September 17, 2012

    Thinking of you.
    And thanks for listening to my whining last night.

  2. Michelle S.

     /  September 17, 2012

    i’m proud of you sister for all that you do. You are amazing. Your mom is in my thoughts. XOXO. If you need a sitter, just call Mary. Michelle (aka Mary Poppins).

  3. Good luck with everything. You just started a new job and a new semester. It will take a bit of time to find your groove…sending you hugs about your mom.

    (I hear you on a date with husband. We could use one, too.)

  4. I’m sorry about your mom =( So hard. Wish I could give you a hug in person.


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