Drop it like it’s hot

Today and yesterday have been much better days. I’ve slept great and it’s the first mornings I’ve woke up without a headache. My mom is still at the hospital I work in so I’m able to visit her on my lunch hour which I can take any time I want so that’s nice. She mostly sleeps when I’m in there but I sit there with her anyway. When I say hi to her she does open her eyes, today she actually said, “Turn around so I can see your hair…” So I did, I said, “Do you like it?” She nodded. Normally she does not say a sentence like that but I’ll take it. She was always commenting on my hair and weight. She went back to sleep.

Tomorrow I get to start training for the job I was hired to cover. I’m so happy! I don’t mind these projects I’ve been working on but I’m ready to move on. Actually, the projects I’ve done today and yesterday I have really liked. I really struggled with the first 2 weeks I was back here. I don’t know, I do not transition well or something…I do not like to feel out of place or new. I felt out of place and I felt new AGAIN. I’m feeling much better now and getting more into the swing of things.

I’m worried about when my mom moves to hospice and how it will go from there. I worry about time all the time. I worry about how fast or slow it will go, will I have enough of it? I called my advisor last week to talk to him about dropping one of my courses. I was already feeling overwhelmed before this and now I feel it more than ever. This class is not a requirement. And it’s very…hard? I don’t know if hard is the right word but it’s an online class that is completely group oriented. Basically the whole grade is made up of a huge group project that is broken up into 3 phases and each phase has about 5 sections, ARE YOU WITH ME? My group thinks it’s best if everyone does their own section, then we submit them to compare them, THEN we decide what we like best out of all five, THEN we write it. Doesn’t that sound so incredibley assanine? I mean, we need to break them up! No one is listeing to me. It’s sort of like I’m doing the amount of work I would if I was doing this alone and it is very time consuming! I want out. I want out. I want out. I want to drop it like it’s hot. But there goes 3 credits if I do! I don’t know. Let’s just keep pushing back that graduation date! But then, I have a job right now, it’s not like I’m pushing it out so I have more time for soap operas! If I didn’t have this job, I could do it. I would hate it but still do it and I’m still taking TWO other classes! I feel guilty, can you tell?

I sent Luke to school on Monday for picture day only to find out it was not picture day. Um…he wore a sticker home last Thursday that said Picture Day! September 24! Maybe they don’t take pictures of the preschoolers? Luke said he thinks his teacher forgot….okay, kid.

Last week Luke came home from school with a request. He really wants me and his teacher assistant to be neighbors. I said, “Neighbors? You want to live next to Miss Lauren?” He said, “No, I just want you to be neighbors, like neighbs…like Miss Rachel.”

I almost peed my pants.

He meant friends.

Rachel and I always called each other neighbor when we say hi or during chats and then recently during some strange moment it switched to neighbs. Like, “Hey neighbs, do you have some ketchup I can borrow?”

I think Luke really likes Miss Lauren.

That’s all I have today. But in case you were worried, I’m doing better. And everything anyone says to me to make me feel better, I absolutely love. Thank you.

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2 Comments

  1. Jenna

     /  September 28, 2012

    Reply
  2. Good for you for making a decison to drop the class!! It will be there the next time. Graduation being pushed back?…. who cares! Do what you got to do! Enjoy your boys and your husband each and every day b/c they’re what matter…. I have no words about your mom other than thinking of you and sending good thoughts.

    You rock!!!! 🙂 I wish we could be neighbs!!! Your boys and my boys would raise some hell. LOL

    Reply

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