Three

Here I am. First day alone on the new job. Blog away! Ha. It’s so quiet here. It’s such different aspect of HR than I was doing before. I don’t hate the job but I’m not sure I like how small the company is. I’m alone in this office a lot. I’m a talker. I like to chat. I need to chat!

This summer is not going to be the summer of my dreams. It’s not going to be a bad summer but it’s not going to be the summer I dreamed of and it makes me really sad. But then Saturday morning Luke said, “Momma? Remember all the morning hikes we went on last year?” This made my day, my week, my summer. It makes me realize nothing has to be extravagant, it just has to be time together having fun, creating a tradition or laughing your ass off. That’s what my kids will remember.

Class starts this week. Put your tongue between your lips and make a fart noise.

I would like to know how people with three babies decide to have three babies. Or, even better, how you knew you were done after two babies? I cannot stop thinking about third baby. I have reminded myself of all the logical (and some not so logical) reasons why a third baby is nuts and when I’m done having this creepy conversation with myself, I nod with certain and tell myself that is that! BUT THEN! Three minutes later I’m dreaming of fat baby rolls. I mean, I look at Gavin and he is phenomenal. He really is. The child did some kind of jump of Luke’s bed last Thursday night and landed on his face. Blood is flowing out of his mouth and I’m certain he has smashed his teeth out. He didn’t but he did something to his gums above his two front teeth that I didn’t even know could be done to gums. They are still swollen and blue. The next day he gives himself another fat lip and when he’s coming around the corner to show me his fat lip, he runs into a table and puts a goose egg on his head. This is daily stuff. He’s like a tiny bull in a not-so-china shop but you get my drift. He is so different from Luke but in such an awesome way. I’m not trying to say Luke isn’t awesome, I’m just so amazed! The differences! And I just don’t know if can live the rest of my life without getting one more chance at watching a tiny human that I made with my husband evolve into its own person that either; never goes outside without shoes for fear of splinters (Luke)or purposefully picks up a bat and beats his brother with it (Gavin)….I JUST DON’T KNOW.

My usual question to myself in these types of scenarios where I’m trying to figure out what I should do is to ask myself, “If you don’t do it, will you regret it?”

I think I will. I know I will always say that I wanted a third baby.

I mean, come on:

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3 Comments

  1. Anonymous

     /  May 20, 2013

    they ARE awesome…

    Reply
  2. Jenna

     /  May 20, 2013

    Just do it! Lol

    Reply
  3. I always wanted four babies, I have three. I was all “babybabybaby” while I was pregnant and nursing for years…and then I weaned my third child and I was sad but hmm, not sure if I want to do this again, and then she finally started sleeping through the night at age three…and all of a sudden I was like “hmm, three is a nice number and I am really tired after seven years of not sleeping. I think I am done with this baby thing after all.” There was a definite full stop, shift in feeling from “maybe I like more babies” to “I am done with this.” So (based on one random stranger’s anecdotal evidence), if you are still thinking it, its not a bad idea. You will probably know when you are done.

    Reply

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