Just One Paragraph: just quiet

Just One Paragraph

My children squeeze out every ounce of energy I have in me everyday. They just suck it right dry. I’m happy to give them my energy. I love them with everything I have but it seems like it’s never enough. They are on top of me all the time. When I I finally sit down at night Luke is immediately next to me while Gavin is on my lap. Skin on skin. STOP TOUCHING ME. Luke and Gavin have already eaten dinner and had a snack by the time I reside to the couch with my CheezIts but they still need some! Their tiny hands are following mine directly into the box and OMG give me some space. I feel terrible when I have to ask Luke to move over. It’s like I can’t breathe. Last night I woke up at 2am to incessant poking on my forehead. He needs to sleep on the floor. He needs another pillow. He needs a hug. I know I’ll be sad when they no longer need me or in 2 weeks when Luke turns five but sometimes I just want to sleep. I want quiet. I want you to not need a drink or a snack right when I sit down. I want to you to ask your father! Let your father put you to bed! I’m not asking for every night! Just a night now and then. It’s such a roller coaster of love. But it’s always love. I miss them right now actually.

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