Just One Paragraph: this morning

Just One Paragraph

The morning chill today took me to a place emotionally that I didn’t want to be. It felt like fall. I know the fall is going to be hard for me. I know it because all of my memories are triggered by all things sensory. I’m prepared for it. I’m prepared for it not to be easy. But I wasn’t prepared this morning. The cold air, the song on the radio, driving the same route to work. I fought the rising lump this morning just like I fought it every day last fall. I hate this part.

This time last year I didn’t know anything…..
This time last year we were planning her birthday gift picture….

I realize this is torture but I don’t know if I just can’t not think of it like that.

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