I’m eating dry Crispex cereal and watch Blue Bloods while I type this. It’s Friday night. Everyone is in their beds. I’m on the couch. I like to eat dry cereal when I have anxiety. I don’t know why but usually it makes my stomach upset and either it’s hungry or not so I feel like dry cereal is safe. I prefer Crispex or Cinnamon Squares. I will sometimes snack on fruity Cheerios but that is less about anxiety and more about that I just like fruity Cheerios but I’m not a fan of milk.

I don’t know why the anxiety. It could be the midterm I have on Tuesday that I’m not excited to take or study for this weekend. It could be the mini training sessions I’m starting next week with the staff to present a new process that I’m sure they will hate and complain about and how amazing that will be. It could be that I was a procrastinator this week when it came to things at work that I don’t like to do and I feel guilty about that. As my coworker will sometimes say, “I didn’t deserve to get paid yesterday but I earned it back today.” Maybe I’ll earn it all back next week during the training sessions. I wanted to take Monday off for extra time to study but before I knew it my morning schedule was already full and damn it all to hell. I guess I could leave early but that is not the point. After Tuesday I’m on spring break so maybe I should take a day off that week instead. That is not a reason for anxiety. Maybe it’s because I had to buy a new laptop right after I bought a new bed and contemplated on returning both but couldn’t. It got to be past the point of return, mostly with the bed, because as Rob said, I do NEED the laptop. It’s really not an option. I forgot how amazing it is to plug in a usb, sync my phone, and actually not have to have it plugged in constantly so the battery does not die immediately. It’s so nice.

I’m also (we both are actually) shocked on how amazing our mattress feels on this new bed. Rob has sort of always hated our mattress and I have always loved it. We’ve discussed getting a new one but I think we both know we would never really agree on a mattress that wasn’t a million dollars so we both ignored it. Turns out it was the box spring all along. I never knew how important a box spring was, I thought it just kept you from feeling like a college student and more like a grown up but no, that’s not it at all. The new bed is a platform bed and after the first night I noticed a huge difference but I didn’t say anything but after night two it was Rob who said it. And I was like, YES ME TOO! And now we are both so happy. Another important thing to mention is that I’m so so glad I did not listen to the reviews on this bed. It is such an amazing bed for the price and our mattress has not fallen through once. Maybe tonight, but I could use the laugh if it does so I’m up for it.

I finally finished a book which was really bothering me because I felt like I was becoming someone who no longer reads and I was not okay with that. Usually when I start a book and don’t have the time to continue reading it is REALLY hard of for me to pick it back up because I feel like I have to start over. I didn’t start over, I just picked it up (Where’d You Go, Bernadette?) and kept reading and was quite surprised. I’ve even started another one right after (Torch).

I have no idea what is happening on Blue Bloods now.

I posted our summer nanny position and I’ve surprisingly gotten….I think 15 applications. We are interviewing our first girl on Monday. And Gavin is almost all registered for preschool/daycare for fall and I’m not really sure how he’s going to be 3. Blah, blah, blah. People say this all the time but really. I think it’s harder for me with him than it is with Luke. He’s my baby.

February all in all was a really good month. I felt very happy this month overall. I also felt very cold and now that March will be here tomorrow, I’m really over it. I struggle with getting warm and I feel like my body physically aches. I didn’t get my new iPhone, mainly out of guilt for the above purchases and my only real reason for wanting it is for the camera….not really a super great reason however that may change if I can trade in my current phone straight up.

I’m off to bed now. I really do want to write more but given my recent history, hopefully the next time I’m writing here the snow will be gone.

(Christmas village has been put away)

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