Thinking of a title can be hard, leave one in the comments if you want…

Hmmmm.  What to say…what to say.  Did anything funny happen yesterday?  No.  Did I do anything exciting yesterday?  No.  Oh wait, something did happen.  I went through all my Spring/Summer clothes that haven’t been touched since 2007 due to being pregnant in the summer of  ’08, so I went through them and sorted out stuff.  Here’s the thing, fitting into them isn’t really the issue but the fact that they don’t seems stylish anymore is.  Like…the shirts, like the casual weekend baby tee’s and a few other shirts all seem too short.  I loaded up a few things and took them to a shop that buys used clothing.  They didn’t take them all, which I’ll admit offended me a tad, and so the rest will go to charity.  I purchased three new summer shirts to kind of spice things up but I’m feeling guilty about it.  Even though they were not expensive, I still feel guilty.  I packed up my real wintery clothes and organized my closet because Rob always says that it looks like my closet threw up.  It’s true, what he says, and I find it funny because it’s not like I’m going somewhere everyday LIKE WORK  where I would need to be making a mess of my closet to find something to wear.  The real issue was that I had randomly gone down to the basement to grab a few items of packed away Spring clothing here and there and then I’m still fighting with clothes that were in there that were too big….and it’s all taken care of now.

The only other thing that’s worth blogging about was a memory that came to me last night while I pretended to watch TV with Rob.

It was Luke’s first night as a real live baby in the hospital.  I had fed him, Rob had changed him and we swaddled him up really tightly and put him the bassinet near the bed so we could both get some sleep.  His eyes were closed and he was quiet as a mouse.  Rob retreated to the crappy chair slash couch thing in the corner of the room, and I got back in bed.  I had the TV on because I pretty much always need a little TV before I drift off, it doesn’t matter  how tired I am.  I laid there sort of watching TV but not really (pretending again) because the fact that I had just birthed another human being was insane to me.  I looked over to check on the new creature and to my surprise he hadn’t made a peep but his eyes were wide open.  I distinctly remember he was just staring at me, however, I’m not sure he could see me from where he was, and it was like he was blinking in slow motion.  I laid there trying to tell myself as long as he was quiet I really, really needed to try and sleep but I couldn’t stop staring back at him and I quietly got up to get him, trying not to disturb Rob, but also…secretly I didn’t want Rob to know how weak I had already become.  I picked up my super quiet baby and tipped toed back to my bed and just as I’m about to throw back the blanket Rob opened his eyes.

“He was just staring at me, I couldn’t help myself.”  I justified.

Rob told me it was okay with a grin that told me what he was thinking.

I have this memory burned in my brain.  Mostly the moment where I look over and he’s staring at me.  It makes my heart want to burst out of my chest and I hope I can remember that for the rest of my life.

Posted by Stacey on March 27, 2009

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